Lost with Lust By: Catherine Bena T. Ollete April 2015 Raunchy. Complex. I hope you don’t mind. *** I got laid. That was a rough quickie actually, so I didn’t get much. But that just did. The last thing I remember was that this morning, I woke up next to someone, so sweet and masculine, not a friend, a stranger at all. “Holy fuck! Are you out of your mind?” Riona unobtrusively shouted at me. “Well, after I sang for our group, did the gig, wouldn’t it be nice for me to have some relaxing moment with somebody? After all, we’ve done great!” I smirked. “Last night, you left us for some random guy you just met at the club! What the hell were you thinking, Caitlin? We were so worried! And what about your boyfriend? Of course, you don’t tell him this. Jeez!!! Again?!?” She scolds me everytime I “do” with people other than my boyfriend. “No. Chase doesn’t know. Besides, we decided to take a break two weeks ago. So, why worry? Hey wait! Why are you so mad at me? You know, that was just that, nothing else,” I seriously uttered. “So, what now? Am I not that important to you after everything? This bullshit is the problem with you! You have all the talents, fame, and fortune you need, yet don’t value the people who deeply cared for you! Chase and I talked last night because you just evaporated, and he’s still into you,” she cried. I giggled for second. “It’s funny how you two always fight over me, then now, you seem to agree at some point. You know what? You’re making Chase as an excuse. Well in fact, the reason is you’re just jealous! C’mon Riona, I know you.” “I’m jealous more than you know. It breaks me whenever I see you with somebody else. Aaron knows this. We fight every time I want you more than him. I don’t know what’s in you. All I think about is I don’t want you to be taken away from me, you idiot! But it seems, you completely wanna be. And, I think I have to help you with that,” she revealed, seriously pissed off. “Ok, I’m sorry,” I surrendered and held her hand. She immediately let go, leaving me at the café. I didn’t follow her for me to clearly think. Other than my heartthrob Chase, Riona is my bestfriend and lover. She is a very attractive bisexual, as well. Every guy wants her. Yet, she settles for a life with me and with her passionate boyfriend Aaron. Add to them my ex-boyfriend Louis, the promiscuous playboy, who respects me and Riona more than any other girls he hangs out with. So, clearly, I really have all that I need, including these brilliant and caring friends. We are five individuals in the same group, with almost the same personalities. This is why, we are expected to be together. We have developed strong relationships. But, recently, after my breakup, everyone’s affected by my behavior, carried away by having too much “fun”, neglecting rehearsals and stuff. What if I’d be entirely consumed by what I crave for, would it last for us? I suddenly stopped thinking, when an innocent, beautiful girl about my age approached me and asked, “Is this seat taken?” “No, not anymore,” I answered. We didn’t talk until I got bored. She seemed lonely while drinking her coffee. “What’s your name? Why are you alone?” “Yva. I just got here. I don’t know if I could tame myself to fit in. What about you, why are you alone?” she anxiously replied. Tame? I was stricken about her answer. But, I didn’t mind about it that much. “I see. By the way, I’m Caitlin. My bestfriend abandoned me a while ago,” I smiled a little as I said. “I know who you are, you’re pretty famous. You’re with your group, right?” Her face turned from pale to rosy. Then, I got curious and fascinated about her, right after she said that. “Yes. You know us? That’s amazing!” She alluringly smiled. “Can you be my friend? I still got no serious friend around here,” Yva requested. “Of course. Why not? You seem nice. I hope so,” I said, admitting I’m fucking interested to have a new friend. “Ok.” Abruptly, her phone rings. Her face turned back to being gray. “Is there something wrong?” “No, I’m fine. I’ll have to deal with something,” she replied. That was disappointing, Watching two persons leave from the same spot without nothing cool to happen? No, so I just asked her if I could drive her home to ease my boredom. When we got there, she gave me her number, and I went straight home afterwards… Still alone. The night was up. I tried to call Chase, Riona, Aaron, Louis… But the saddest was nobody dared to answer. Probably, they were busy, or because of the thing that I did. Whatever it was, I was still alone, lost. Then, I remembered Yva. I never thought of calling her, so I went straight back to her house without a fuss and decided to hang out for the night. It was not what I expected, I didn’t know if I’d feel disgusted, but I was intrigued to watch, since I had nothing to do. The lights were off at the sala as I saw her… and a guy? What the hell? I thought she had no friends here. Maybe, he’s her boyfriend. She effortlessly took her clothes off, pushing her man to the sofa, undressing him like she’s in command. Starting off with lubricating and stroking his manhood, leading to an intense hot fellatio, done by her sweet kisser. “That’s fine baby,” he thrillingly whispered. She sat down even before he was about to nut, letting her man suck her tits, then her wet clit, making her moan too seductive. She held his head as he sucked and licked harder. “You love the taste, honey, huh?” she asked. She moaned louder and became tensed as she achieved her orgasm. She opened a condom and slid it down his dick. She went on top of him, and inserted his erection to her pussy. They went on hitting each other up and down, until he exploded. He was indeed exhausted, so he lied down, finished, making her feel… dissatisfied. He pulled her, but she was not for a hug or something. She threw his clothes at him, telling him to get out as soon as possible. He insisted to stay, but she just pushed him away. After getting his clothes on, he slowly went out as if nothing happened. On the other hand, Yva put on her big shirt without her underwear on, and went for the couch to watch tv, left disappointed. As I was about to leave, I accidentally made a clatter, enough to distract Yva. So, I hurriedly went back to my car. As she opened her door, I was already driving my car away from her house. I didn’t want her to catch me like that. “Whew! That was close!” Why did I feel weird for myself? As I went to bed, I resumed to my fantasies. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to touch myself like I used to, while thinking about it. It really felt strange for me to realize something. I was really curious about her and everything lately. “Why?” I asked myself. The next morning, I got up all alone and took my usual routine for the day, forgetting everything that happened. “Time to move on today!” At the end of it, I was still alone, until Chase came to visit me. “Hey! What’s up? How’s the melody going?” He kissed my cheeks and asked about our composition. “It’s fine.” “You?” “I don’t think so.” “Why?” I just looked at him like I was longing. He was worried. He sat down, on the bed, beside me. “If you got a problem, we’re just here for you,” he passionately said. “I know this is kinda awkward, but I want you tonight,” I yearningly responded. Fortunately, he didn’t resist as I French-kissed him, wanting more than before. Taking off our clothes, gazing at his chiselled and enticing figure, gave me goosebumps and excitement. While on top of me, he continued on kissing me from my lips… my neck… my tummy. I gave him a much boner, when he was caressing my breasts, licking my erect nipples. He knelt on the floor while I lied on the edge of the bed. He ate me, making my juice come out. We did a one up, until I achieved my first orgasm. He did the face sitter, while continuously fondling my nipples and getting the rhythm to it, so I could taste that precious manhood I always desire. Oh gosh! He’s so fucking hot!!! Making the night favorable to me, we did everything that can make us win back each other. No man can satisfy me like this but him. We made a head rush, making him lie back with his head and shoulders on the floor as I straddle him and letting him enter me. I even bended over and let him do me from behind. It was absolutely luscious. As he was continuously penetrating me, we were in ecstasy. We didn’t wanna stop. I liked his speed of thrusting. Five to seven orgasms with long intervals? I didn’t know. Maybe, ten. He finished me with a sleeper hold. “Honestly, I love you. I still do. I’m just sorry for everything I did wrong. It’s just that… I still have to figure out something for myself,” I sincerely confessed to him. I felt shame for myself when he smiled at me. “I knew almost everything you did. And, I’m certain that you never cheated on me for some guys out there while we’re in a relationship,” he said. It was the truth, I went out with guys, whenever Chase and I calls for a break, just for… you know… I never actually cheated on him, except for… “Riona,” he mentioned his rival, our best friend. “I can’t believe it’s a female,” he sneered. “But, I’m at least thankful for it. I just hope you can already make up your mind, I beg you,” he added. I was puzzled. I didn’t know what to say. I just kissed him, full of passion and wanting. The next day, I was happy to see his naked body beside me. Shit! Why did I ever let go of this man? What if the next day, he’d see someone else? I was devastated by just the thought of it. “What’s the matter?” He asked while clearing his eyes. “Nothing. I think you’re forgetting something,” I told him. “Fuck!!! The business trip! I’m so sorry baby. I have to go before we lose the deal. Just call me if you’re not busy,” he said before he kissed my lips. After taking his clothes on, he went straight to our management’s office for his meeting with his song’s producer, before the trip. “Have a nice trip! Take care and stay safe! Have fun, but not too much!” I told him. He smiled at me. His fragrance was still there. He’s always that quick. Then, I was left alone for another time. But, I had a great one. All of a sudden, Yva crossed my mind again. I became more curious than ever, so I grabbed my phone to call her. “Hello? Who is this?” She asked. “Hey! It’s me. Caitlin.” “Oh, great! Are you, ahm, available tonight?” WTF! Tonight? I thought of getting juiced up. “I don’t know. What about today?” “Ok. That would be fine. See you in two hours,” she abruptly told me. Wow! That move was also smooth and swift. I arrived at her house, nervous and clumsy. “Crap! I’m so sorry!” I slipped as I was about to sit, then she accidentally poured me the prepared juice for snack. “Ah, my shirt!” I cried. “I’m really sorry. I’ll just lend you a new one… It’ll suit you, don’t worry,” she offered. I really hate to get drenched. When she got back, “Here you go. You can change your top now.” “Thanks,” I’m deeply sad about my shirt. “Can I really change here? I hope you don’t mind.” Her eyes were not that normal to look at as I faced her. Something wild were in there. But, I didn’t care. I just wanted to get changed right away. I don’t like to wear untidy clothes. The next thing she said stunned me, bigtime! “By just looking at your body, my inner goddess slowly melts.” WTF! “What?” I shockingly asked right after I got dressed. Probably, she planned it. She just grinned at me and sat down, crossed her legs. What was up with her? “By the way, I’m gonna ask you about the other night. You saw me with a guy in here, right?” She calmly asked. My heart was pounding. I was speechless for a moment. “C’mon Caitlin. I saw your car. And, you… watching,” she added and winked at me. I was doomed! “Ah… Please forgive me. I got nothing good to do by that time, so I decided to come here,” I nervously uttered. “And take a peek?” She giggled. “You’re indeed a naughty girl, like what I expected.” “Was he your boyfriend?” I asked, really wondering. “No. He’s just someone I don’t really care about. He likes me, but I don’t. I can never be satisfied with anyone anymore.” I was enthralled, so I interrogated more. “Is this something that concerns about taming you?” “You’re smart. I’m badly fucked up. I crave for more every single day.” Seriously?!? “Oh… That’s some pressure you got there. Then, why don’t you like relationships? I mean, a boyfriend can help you have it all day. What made you that kind of person?” “I was too much for my first. We broke up ‘cause he really didn’t want me. Foolish maniacs got me constantly broken. All they care about is just to fail and hurt me the way they want. You know what I mean. That’s why I don’t wanna be attached to anybody after doin’ it. It would only be just it, since I’m not that gratified most of the times. You saw what I did. I never kissed him even in the process. I wasn’t for the cuddle after. I never want to see those kind of guys again. Pleasure is just the beauty for me now, to hide the pain,” she explained. I felt sorry for her. “But, I’m sure, there’ll be that someone for you,” I positively insisted. “I don’t know. I’m already a buff in this kind of thing. I just hope so, it would change,” she said. To clear her mind, I just asked her to come with me to the mall. We ate at the food court, laughed about stuff, played arcade, and the like. She enjoyed it. It made her forget her darkest. And then, we met Riona as we were about to leave… “You’re just a bullshit, Caitlin! You’re with whom? A friend? Or another lover for sex? And guess what, now a girl? Fuck! I hate you!!!” She angrily said to my face. I was surprised! She looked at Yva as if they are rivals. Yva, on the other hand, politely greeted her. But, she became upset after she saw Riona’s reaction of seeing her. “As if you’re not a girl! She’s my friend! Why are you so rude? We were just malling, duh!” I whispered to her as I explained. “Then what, fuck her after?” She furiously uttered. “No!” She gave me a sullen look, ignored me as she walked away. “Hey! I’m sorry about the other day. I don’t want you to be mad at me… Wait! Where are you going?” I pleaded her as I was trying to catch up to her. But, she just continued to walk away and ignored me. I couldn’t follow her that moment because I was with Yva. It would totally be so impolite if I did that. “I’m sorry about what she did. She’s the bestfriend I told you before. It’s because of what I do, why she’s acting like that,” I told Yva about Riona’s rude gesture. I told her my story, about my bad attitude, my craving, and everything. We ended our conversation as I drove her to her house. “Thanks for spending time with me. I’ve never been so happy. You’re indeed a pleaser,” Yva thanked me as she went out my car. “You’re most welcome. You deserve better,” I said to her. Later that evening, I was calling Riona on the phone. I called her several times. She ignored all of them. So, I stopped and texted her to convince her to pick up the phone for just a moment. And then, I called again and she finally answered. “What do you want from me?!?” She directly asked. “I’m sorry for making you feel unimportant. I didn’t mean to. Please forgive me, Riona.” “Maybe, some other time, Cait, we’ll talk. Not now. Besides, Aaron and I are spending our quality time together. I don’t want him to get mad. From now on, I’ll focus on him, instead on you,” she said. She hung up afterwards. Damn! Two days passed. Only Yva and I talked most of the time. We told each other all the crazy stuff we have done for a day, including hook ups. There was already this special bond we share, as if I could trust her with every little dark secret I have. Chase was busy with his deal. Riona was spending time with Aaron. Even Aaron didn’t bother to talk to me that long. I took them for granted, that’s why. Rhapsodies were all I’ve been doing. What else would I expect? How sad! One day, I just really had to reconcile with Riona because I missed her so much. I am not used to not being in good terms with my friends, especially Chase and Riona. Since Chase and I were finally ok with the present (at least), I had to deal with Riona as soon as possible. So, I went straight to her house, without even thinking if Aaron was there or not. “Good morning Mistress Caitlin!” Johnny, Riona’s bodyguard, greeted me as I came by her house. “Good morning to you, too, Johnny! I bet Riona’s up there, huh,” I greeted him back. He nodded and smiled at me. So, I went in and looked for her upstairs. Fortunately, Aaron was not there that time. I found her coming out from her bathroom. Gosh! She’s too gorgeous… and wet! “Why are you here?” She asked me. She wasn’t even shocked to see me… just furious. She continued, getting dressed. She didn’t bother that I was looking. It was just normal for us. “Look. I wanna apologize. I want us to be cool again. I miss you,” I expressed. She came near me, with just her underwear on, and said straight to my face, “Go fuck yourself!” We rolled our eyes at each other. “Oh my goodness, Riona! We’re besties! Why are we like this?!” I uttered in frustration. “I’m fed up, Cait. Now, I’m trying to move on. And, I’m planning to leave the group,” she confessed. “As long as I’m still in this group, I can’t help but think about how things would get better for us, yet you don’t realize that,” she added. “That’s a big NO-NO! That’s the last thing we’re gonna do, leave the group, our friendship. We can do solo acts and projects, but the five of us will still be intact. We’ve been in a lot of madness already, but still remain close. Why give up?” I seriously expressed. I can’t imagine our group to be broken like that. “The four of you will do. I’m just gonna do a new deal. I already told Aaron about it. He said it’s ok. Besides, you’re still gonna see me often, because of him. I just don’t want everything to get too intimate anymore.” “I understand. But, is there something that can possibly change your mind? I’m willing to do you a favor,” I suddenly offered with a hopeful, seductive look. She looked at my eyes like she’s overcoming me and came nearer. “Stop fucking other guys, and girls, will you?” She whispered. Then, she glared at me. I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know how to give in to that. She was this stunning challenger again. She has been extremely jealous, more than when I’m with Chase. “Ok,” I said as I sat down on her bed, confused on what to do. I’ve never thought of stopping, actually. But, I thought I have to. I didn’t know. She approached me and I anxiously looked at her. “You sure?” She asked. “Yes, just don’t go,” I sadly uttered. Then, she began kissing me, while gently removing my clothes. I let her do what she pleased. It was like an apology sex, so I had to really make her happy. When we were both stripped, she started off kissing my legs, sucking my feet. You would think, it’s gross, but it’s totally hot about her when she does that. Plus, she bites like a hungry vampire. “Ouch! What the fuck! You bit me!” “I know you like that, baby,” she said in a sexy tone. “Yeah, but duh! It really hurts!” Oh stop complaining, Caitlin! Then, she came on top of me and began kissing my lips again. She went down and sucked my tits so hard. It arouses me more when she’s the one doing it. It’s a lot more intense compared to others. She makes me wanna kiss her forehead every time. But, my most favorite part is when she does me oral. It’s making me a lot wet than usual… licking my pussy lips and clit, plus slurping my warm, soaking wetness like it’s a fruit juice. Oh, my fucking life is perfect! She makes me weak. She’s better than Celeste, Taylor, Dani, or even James, and Louis! What the hell, Cait?! Forget about them. Like Chase, I cannot want to lose Riona. I’ve been gasping for more to catch up with her fierceness at that moment. “You’re just mine, Cait!” She furiously whispered. “I know,” I answered in my deepest and darkest pleasure as she’s still polishing my floorboards. After that orgasm I had, I gave her my dominant side. I did her a lounger and felt her pleasure down there. A double duty was even too arousing for her. I even did to her the same rockin’ rockette that we had. Plus, of course, the scissors and 69. We went for more climaxes. Her body and her moans were so erotic. We get too wet every time we make love. “Promise me, Cait,” she said as she went for a cuddle. I hate to say yes, but “yes,” I affirmed and kissed her again. Then, we spent the day together in her house, without anyone interrupting our bonding time as lovers and friends. I went home the following day, so satisfied as ever. Then, coincidentally, Yva called me. “Hey! What’s up?” I asked. “(sigh)… Can you visit me tonight? I’ve been contacting you since yesterday, yet your phone was off,” she requested. Jeez! What’s wrong with her now? So, I went to her house at night. She was sitting at the living room, dressed sexy as hell, just her big shirt on, actually. But, I didn’t mind. I just asked her what’s wrong. “I’ve been thinking about you since the day I met you. I thought maybe this would work. But, it hurts more every single day since that you told me… Oh fuck!!!” She uttered as she came to me. She began to pull and kissed me harder. We kissed and undressed each other until we entered her bedroom. I never got the chance to talk, really. I was speechless. Told her what, exactly? She immediately went down on me for a wicked warm-up. She seemed craving for it, even firmly held my butt. After that, I had her sit on the chair, straddled her, and started again to make out with her. She’s fucking tempting! It was like totally forgetting everything. Then, she made me bend over so my hips were in the air and my hand touched the floor. She licked my pussy that way. It caused me pain in the head, but pleasure in my ass. Next, we settled on the bed. She used her strap-on harness and dildo and entered my muffin. Afterwards, the best sex for me - anal… It made me cum more, I swear. She did it over and over again to please me. I asked for more. She was game for it. What she did to me, I did to her, too. I even let her kneel over my shoulders, while I was lying down, and her butt brush against my tits as I got to taste her slutty pussy. As we venture for more orgasms, she looked so satisfied. We had it for hours. Gosh! We’re extremely fucked up. It was when she embraced me. I felt safe and protected that night. I wasn’t lost. I didn’t even care about the promise I made to Riona. I woke up the next morning, still in her arms. Once again, we kissed. But, after that, she let go of me. “Thank you for the night. You may go now. I can’t see you anymore,” she suddenly said to me. I was definitely shocked, looking at her. “You said what now? Why?” Tears fell from her eyes. “I can’t continue to fall in love with you. You have to live and choose the love of your life. And, it hurts me whenever I think I can’t be that one. I don’t plan to add up to your burden. Last night, what I did to you was something I’ve never done to anyone. “I’m a nymph, Cait. Lust is the monster within me. I can hurt you for two reasons: I’m living this, and you can never be mine. You can effortlessly hurt me, too, by just that. I’m fed up. I just suggest you not to be like me. Don’t get lost,” she confessed. I tried to hug her, but she stopped me. “I love you. I can’t forget you. But, you have to go. I don’t wanna see you anymore,” she cried. I was deeply saddened by what she wants to happen. “I can be here for you. I want you to be here for me,” I uttered. “I don’t want to,” she responded. I was broken and confused. This was her form of saying goodbye. That was some serious rejection. It strucked me to choose now or get pained in the future. After I put my clothes on, I headed for the outside world, leaving her… alone, still crying. I was in tears, as well. But, I had to walk away. Life is so complicated, indeed. Temptation visits you and then it crushes you. I’ve felt that lust has been gradually devouring me for a long time. Yet, I’ve felt lost with all the pleasure. I’ve been fighting hunger. Sometimes, I don’t know if I can live without much of it or not. I’ve been addicted. It made me totally forget about giving love. I don’t wanna lose them. I don’t apparently wanna lose her. But, I think I did lose her forever. Now, I’m much more injured. The hardest part is letting go. Letting go of this bad habit… What a fucking month! What next? *** She’s the lust I had to let go. Get it?
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AuthorCathy Ollete, a young singer, dancer, songwriter, instrumentalist, performer, and a licensed civil engineer. Hope you enjoy reading! ArchivesCategories |